"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me…"
"What in the sweet hells are you even singing?"
I briefly turned my head to see Astarion glaring in my way. I shrugged.
"Just a song of my childhood," I replied to the Vampire before deciding to hum it. "Felt thematic."
"What is it about?" Alfira sweetly inquired.
"The lyrics? Eh, well it's less about them but what the song reminds me of. It's a story about an Ogre who lives alone in a swamp."
I heard Karlach snorting. "Yeah, I can see that." She then started whistling after me.
Even Alfira got her lute to follow.
Astarion continued to scowl before pinching his nose out of irritation. "We are about to explore an enchanted swamp likely full of monsters, could you try not attracting them? Please?"
"Lighten up," Wyll encouraged the Vampire, "enjoy a good song here and now never hurt anyone."
"Oh, I would, provided it was good."
"Hey, it's not my fault I have no talent at singing!" Karlach complained.
"I wish I could whistle like you," I muttered under my breath.
"I could try teaching some tips," our local Bard proposed to the other Tiefling. "It's not much but you can improve a lot with them."
"Or perhaps your talent lay elsewhere like dancing," Wyll chimed in.
"Dancing…" The warrior mimicked a pirouette much to our delight. "Now if only I could touch my partner…"
That wouldn't do. Tonight was Party's night and Karlach should be able to enjoy herself. "Hey Karlach!" I gave her a wink before leaning on right leg and extending my two arms to join them. "Suuuuper!"
Astarion held his head between his hands while Wyll and Alfira repressed a laugh.
"Oh not again…" the spawn complained.
Seeing that I was trying to cheer up, the one-horned Tiefling's face up before immediately mirroring my pose. "Suuuuper!"
We began once again to dance on the spot. "One, two! One, two!"
It didn't last more than a few seconds before we broke off. We clearly weren't taking the swamp's exploration all too seriously unlike with the Goblin camp and it showed. It was just a sideshow. It was refreshing… Low stakes. So of course I was taking advantage of it to fool around. Could anyone blame me?
"Say Soldier…"
I turned my head to gaze in Karlach's direction. "Yeah?"
"Who is this Franky guy? Why is he so… Er, I mean…" She waved her arms to make me understand.
"Why is he so misshapen?" Astarion clarified for her with a sly smirk.
Karlach momentarily recoiled in with wide eyes. "I didn't… I mean, er…" She sighed before continuing, "alright, I meant more like looking odd but I guess Astarion sorta summarized my thoughts."
I handwaved her concerns. "Eh, I'm sure he wouldn't care. Not his type. As for why he's like that, he's a cyborg." Seeing as they likely didn't know the word's meaning (maybe Gale, once again, would), I elaborated before they could ask it. "It generally means a person who had part of their body replaced with artificial ones, like robotic…" I cleared my throat, "I mean, mechanical legs or arms." I wasn't entirely sure of my definition at the moment but I supposed it would work. "Franky had… a terrible accident that put him on death's door but he was able to use his skills as a shipwright to 'rebuild' his body. That's why he looks like that, everything about him but his back is artificial."
My explanation was met with a few shocked gazes, even sympathizing for some, though I noted Astarion didn't seem too much phazed by my story.
"Damn… Poor f*cker," Karlach finally said. "Incredible that he kept a cheerful demeanor."
Incredible that you keep one after the Hells, I said to myself.
"Yeah, I mean there's a reason he's one of my heroes." I raised a thumbs up. "One of the many."
"So he's a shipwright you said?" Alfira asked me. "He must have impressive skills given he was able to… fix himself.
"Aye! He's the shipwright of the Straw Hat pirates!" I exclaimed with pride.
I heard someone snorting. I turned to see Astarion difficulty suppressing a laugh. "I'm sorry, are you saying that there is a story about a group of pirates called 'The Straw Hat'? Oh my…" he leaned on closer and smirked. "That's quite adorable. Like a bunch of children playing pirates. 'The dreaded Straw Hat'."
I crossed my arms over my chest before shaking my head with disapproval. "Yeah well, get on their level and we'll talk." Which wasn't happening anytime soon.
Meanwhile a frown had appeared on Wyll's features. "Pirates you say? Aren't those…" he was cut by sudden loud voices of what sounded like an argument. The Warlock put a finger on his mouth to signal all of us to stop speaking before slowly approaching the source of the noises.
Three figures stood up just before where the swamp began. I immediately recognized one, 'Auntie' Ethel, the old woman that was selling potions back at the Grove and whom I suspected to be a spellcaster of some sort. She was facing what appeared to be threatening her with literal pitchforks. They could not have been closer to the stereotype of the angry medieval peasant if they had tried.
We immediately pressed forward in the hopes of stopping the confrontation from getting uglier.
"Lads, for the love of all that is sacred I never clapped eyes on your poor sister!" I heard Ethel say to the two men.
"Just tell her where she is and we'll leave you be!" One of the two brothers (so it would seem) told her. I noted that he was a lot more uneasy with the current situation, less aggressive and more hesitating. Maybe we could use this to our advantage to deescalate the situation?
"Excuse me, what seems to be the problem here?"
They all turned to me at once, the siblings almost jumping on their feet. I got a good look at them. They seemed rather young, well not much more than I or my companions were (Astarion aside). I could feel the tension floating in the air. They were on edge. One wrong word and everything would turn to sh*t in the blink of an eye.
Ethel, meanwhile, felt more relieved once she saw me approaching. "Ah, it's you darling." She gestured to the pair that was cornering her. "These poor fellows believe I hold their sister captive but I swear to you I have no idea what they are talking about."
The most aggressive of the brothers immediately spun on his feet, brandishing his pitchfork in our direction. "You with the Hag?"
Hag? Did the man meant that as an insult or to accuse Ethel of something else, like practicing the local equivalent of witchcraft? I shared a glance with Wyll. No words were spoken but the other Warlock shared my opinion, we needed to absolutely try to calm or else a fight would break out. Karlach approached them before cracking her knuckles and crossing her arms over her chest to show her muscular argument. Which I could appreciate I suppose. Hopefully everyone got the hint.
Wyll showed his palms to show he was no threat. "Now if I may, my friend asked you a question." His voice was very calm. "What is going on here? Why are you seemingly harassing this poor woman?"
"She's a hag! She took our sister Mayrina with her and we just want to get her back! If you are not bewitched by her, then help us!"
Oookay. Things were getting quickly more problematic. They were accusing Ethel of being a Hag. Which either was a derogatory term for 'old woman spellcaster' or 'supernatural creature'. Either way, neither of them were willing to back down nor they appeared to be lying. That didn't mean the old woman was guilty of course.
Suddenly, a soothing melody passed over us. Although surprised, the siblings began to somewhat relax. I gave a nod of approval at Alfira playing her lute. Yet another reminder why having a Bard was useful.
"Are you certain of your claims? That you are not mistaken in any way about getting the wrong person?" I gestured to Ethel. "I can assure you that this woman is not dangerous. She has been selling potions at the local druidic Grove. I have consumed some and I am fine. Surely if she had been some kind of evil creature we wouldn't be speaking to you, no?"
They hesitated for a moment before sharing a look. "That's not possible! This is the Hag that resides in the region! Everyone who comes here knows that!"
"I have not the slightest idea about what they are talking about," Ethel countered, "you must believe me."
Things were getting nowhere. That said, the swamp we were looking to explore was definitely supernatural. So maybe the two men were not entirely wrong about something or someone living there.
"That Hag of yours, she's living in that swamp over there, right?" I gestured to the bog behind us.
"Yes, that's where she lures her victims!"
My companions and I briefly exchanged gazes, it was easy enough to guess where this 'Hag' resided.
Wyll was about to speak when Ethel suddenly cut him.
"The only thing in that swamp is my teahouse."
My eyes widened. I felt my blood pumping at an accelerated rate through my veins. I knew the old woman was more than what meets the eye but living in the middle of a swamp… And the brothers were adamant about a well known Hag living there.
The old woman gave me a smile. It might have been a warm one but I couldn't help to see a more sinister undertone. "I was hoping you may come visit Auntie. I'm all by myself, you know. Besides, wouldn't you have me take a look at your worm?"
A shiver ran down my spine. Not because I was afraid of her but because of how on edge I was.
Marc! That woman isn't what she appears to be!
Zilana's warning was the only confirmation I needed, even if it was late. I carefully stepped closer from Ethel. "You are the one living in that swamp?"
For a split second, her smile became crooked. It could have my mind playing tricks on me but I knew better. "Didn't I just say that? But it's getting late, darling. Meet me at my house later if you want to talk in a more comfortable manner." And just like that, she vanished into a screen of green smoke.
I don't know how long we all kept staring at the spot where she had vanished. She had successfully bamboozled us. And not just us.
I finally snapped back and tightened my fists as hard as I could. I was beyond pissed that I could barely contain my emotions until I let them out. "RAAAAAAH! f*ck! You gotta be kidding me!" I wanted to punch something. My anger overtook my best judgment, as usual, I simply couldn't hold it back. It would have continued on had Alfira not pla yed another peaceful tune with her lute.
It was… beautiful. Beautiful enough to compel me to freeze and simply listen to it.
"Damn, you're good, you know that?" I snorted when the Bard had finished playing.
Her lips were curled into a small smile. "So I've been told."
Understandably, the discovery that good 'Auntie' was in fact truly a Hag only vindicated the brothers. "She ran away before we could learn where our sister was taken!"
Karlach raised one of her eyebrows before tilting her head at them. "And you really think you would have gotten her to tell you anything with these wooden pitchforks?"
The two looked at their weapons and realized the Tiefling was right. "Yes, it was stupid of us but we were desperate to save Mayrina," one admitted. "Had we been quicker to reach her before she left…"
"She went to seek the Hag on her own?" Wyll asked them. "But why?"
The siblings gazed at each other, almost wondering if it was alright with sharing their story with complete strangers before replying. "She wants Ethel to bring back her husband. Poor Connor died so quickly."
And such bargains had a certain price, I betted. Resurrection wasn't cheap, even in the Forgotten Realms, or death would lose meaning. But there was another matter that kept bothering me.
"How is this possible that no one in the Grove was able to pick up that Ethel was a f*cking Hag? Shouldn't the Druids have been able to tell?"
Wyll and Alfira shared an awkward glance while Karlach shook her head with a sigh. Astarion was, as always, quite amused by the situation.
"I'm afraid, Soldier, that whichever the answer is, none of us will appreciate it."
I grunted. The warrior was right of course. "She played us like a damn fiddle!" And those tree-f*ckers once again proved their uselessness. I turned to face the two farmers. "You two, stay here. We're going after Ethel and we'll bring back your sister," I assured them.
Astarion briefly lost his composure. He was clearly not happy with my decision. "I'm sorry but I don't remember us choosing to risk our lives for complete strangers on a whim when we decided to head for the swamp!"
I simply shrugged.
"We were going there anyway," Alfira rebuffed the Vampire, "what's the harm in rescuing that girl?"
"Because I do not intend to die for someone whom I'm not even sure would do the same for me were the situation reversed!" The Elf exclaimed.
I suppose his argument might have held some merits, given his particular nature. But really, the Bard was right. Even if I didn't want to personally help that Mayrina, I was already going to confront whatever was in the bog so why not give her assistance if she was in the way?
I clenched my fist and briefly drew on my magic. If I didn't bother to use it to make a change, then why bother having it in the first place?
Seeing as the others joined me, Astarion grumbled and followed after us. "Very well but if anyone is turned into a frog I won't be the one to blame."
I ignored him before stepping closer to the water. We would have no choice but to wet ourselves to cross through the swamp. I sighed, I hated that. I was about to dive one leg after the other into the water when I saw something shine within it. My mind immediately clicked.
"Traps!" I warned everyone.
"Yeah, I saw it too," Wyll added.
Karlach clicked her tongue after throwing a glance at the water. "A welcome gift from 'Auntie' I bet."
Fortunately Astarion was able to disarm them. I had to admit, it was a good thing he had come along. Sometimes I wondered in what circ*mstances he had picked up those skills given that vampires could not enter houses uninvited.
The landscape we were greeted with was something I would describe as 'bucolic'. Sceneries of sunny greenure paths occasionally cut by the water, everything looking like out of a children's book. Scratch, it actually felt more in line with a fairy tale. I had very little doubt it was anything but an illusion crafted by the Hag. In fact, now that I thought about it, this must have been the magic I felt the first time we passed near the swamp.
I noticed Alfira squinting her eyes, as if she had seen something. "Everything's alright?" I asked the Bard.
She blinked before turning her head towards me. "I think I saw a sheep. That can't be right?" She regained her composure before gesturing around us. "I feel a potent magic emanating from this place."
Wyll nodded at her words. "I feel it too. The same sensation from three days ago when we went to seek Kagha's letter."
"Ethel has woven a rather powerful illusion charm here," I confirmed. "I can almost see how she rearranged the Weave." Knitted even. A little tongue in cheek, I mused. I started to understand why it was called that.
"Huh, can you dispel it?" Karlach asked the three of us.
I nodded. I actually could. It was kind of strange but I knew what to do and without even reaching to my Patron or because of a knowledge implanted in my mind. It was me, I simply understood what to do on my own. A testament of how I had grown as a Spellcaster, I supposed. Because I could visualize the spell, to counterspell it I needed to just affect the 'threads' of Weave that maintained the illusion. A way to do that could be simply to 'punch' through the Weave with raw willpower. I imagined that if Gale was here, his method would have included a lot more finesse but I lacked his talent and experience. I briefly wondered about asking Wyll what he personally thought about the subject when I recalled that he didn't consider himself an Arcanist and thus probably had no particularly strong opinion on how to proceed.
I was about to start dispelling the illusion when I froze. I had figured out how to break it and that showed how I had grown, yes, but maybe I should let someone else have their moment? I tilted my head towards Alfira.
The Bard, who suddenly noticed the attention, smiled shyly. "Yes, Marc? Is something wrong?"
"Oh my, I fear your bardic charm might have fried his brain," Astarion mocked me.
"Eh almost," I played along.
The Tiefling simply rolled her eyes while the rest of our party shared a light chuckle.
"But no, I just figured out that maybe you should be the one to lift Ethel's spell."
Her gaze widened before she gestured at herself in disbelief. "Me? But why?"
"I think it might be a good learning experience for you," I explained. I gave her a grin. "Besides, wouldn't you agree that the Bard lifting the Hag's spell with her lute makes for a better story?"
Karlach immediately agreed with me. "Yeah, it should be your time to shine, Alfie!" She cheered up her fellow Tiefling.
"You don't give me much of a choice," Alfira pretended to complain. Her smile said otherwise. "Any advice?"
"Feels the Weave," I told her. "I know it sounds corny, but you have to visualize it. Once it's done, you simply need to unravel it, the rest should take care of itself."
Her eyes flashed with understanding before she grabbed her lute. The rest of us became quiet to let her concentrate. She closed her eyes, to better feel the magic I supposed, before she began to play from her instrument. It was a few notes and yet I felt the Weave being… unwoven.
The veil was immediately lifted and the swamp revealed its true face at last, that of a dark-green bog where a sinister ambiance was planning. Now, it's true that marshes and swamps were generally not the most welcoming place to hang around even on Earth. But here, it was different. I could definitely perceive the dark influence of the Hag, like she had left her mark on the region. It was her domain. It's not even something I could exactly pinpoint through the Weave. I just knew it. Part of me wondered in curiosity if I would ever be able to establish a dominion like that.
"Now I don't know about you, darlings, but this seems like a loving spot to rest," our resident Elf commented with his trademark smirk. He gestured to a bag that contained apples which I had somehow missed. "Look, there's even a welcoming gifts from the Swamp's Mistress."
I rolled my eyes. Poisoned apples? Ethel knew her classics.
We proceeded along the path laid out for us to reach the teahouse. We had barely contourned a small mound of dirt that a small figure I hadn't seen almost caused me a heart attack.
"f*ck it…" I complained while holding my chest. My heart was racing like hell.
"Baaaah!" I heard the creature… bleating? Or rather a poor imitation.
Alfira gently squeezed my arm, making me glance at her. The Bard appeared quite concerned. "Marc, are you alright?"
I smiled back to reassure the Bard. "Yeah… f*cker just jumped me out, it's nothing." I then turned my head with a scowl at the small humanoid before us. I was bewildered when I realized it looked exactly like a typical garden gnome, red pointy hat, small size, white graying beard, with the caveat it had pointy elf-like ears and an angry, evil-like face with red eyes.
"What the hell is that?" I exclaimed. "Another of Ethel's sick jokes?"
"A redcap," Wyll told us in a half-whisper so the creature wouldn't listen. "Evil fey creatures, it's no surprise they would serve a greater Fey like a Hag."
Soon more started to appear, wandering aimlessly and bleating like the first one. I counted about four of the ugly bastards.
"Well that would answer the sheep I saw, the illusion must have been hidden by them and they are unaware we already saw through it," Alfira deduced with a disgusted frown.
As the redcap kept bleating at us, Karlach approached it before crouching to put herself at the same height. Then… She bleated back. "Baaaaaaah!"
The redcap immediately recoiled in surprise.
I snickered. "Not bad, not bad," I praised the muscular Tiefling, "but you really must have it coming from the inside! Here, let me show you."
I turned to the redcap who was seemingly still processing what had happened when I let out a bleat of my own. "Meeehehe!"
The fey-like being decided it was suddenly better to get away from those sheep-imitating fools that we were and headed back to its 'siblings'.
"I must admit yours was much more convincing," Karlach complimented me with a thumbs up.
"No big surprise, I used to work for a… How would I call that here… an union of sheep farmers, a couple of years ago."
"Huh," Astarion repressed a small chuckle. "Let me guess, as a shepherd?"
I shook my head before laughing back. "What a cruel lack of imagination." I waved my hand negatively, "nah, nothing like that. I was responsible to visit various sheep farms to monitor a bunch of stuff so you bet I witnessed quite a lot. From mountains to… flatter rural landscapes all by myself, traveling the countryside of my home region!" I suddenly realized I let myself be carried away. I cleared my throat. "So yeah, I know quite a lot about sheep."
In fairness, it did look like Alfira and Karlach were interested in my old job. Probably because they didn't have much occasion to travel a lot until recently, unlike Wyll.
"Sounds like you had adventures on your own back in the day, soldier."
I scratched the back of my neck. "Yeah, you could say that. I still have a bunch of anecdotes from that time to reminisce on."
Astarion shot me an annoyed gaze. "Right, right, I'm sure of it but perhaps we should continue on first? You will have all the time in the world to tell those interesting stories another day."
Can't say he was wrong. I raised my eyes to see a decayed wooden house. Giant distorted vines were literally sprouting from the ground and surrounding it. This could only be Ethel's 'teahouse' where she had invited us. We pressed on forward.
Karlach briefly stopped to contemplate the shack with a frown. "Gods, everything here look so f*ckin wrong. Is it even normal for a swamp to look like that or did the Hag corrupt it into being this sinister? You can't go more 'cursed house' than that."
"Ethel sure knows her classics," I nodded in agreement. "The fairy tale illusion hiding a putrid bog, heck I'm pretty sure we passed poisoned apple baskets. I think she might have forgotten the part where the Hags in those stories always lost in the end."
"Now if only we found ourselves in one of those stories…" Astarion countered. He certainly wasn't feeling confident like the rest of us.
Wyll suddenly raised a fist to signal us to stop talking at all. The Warlock then gestured to a silhouette that stood away from the house, on a stone path that diverged to the left. Fearing another of Hag's tricks, we slowly approached it while on guard.
The figure revealed itself to be a human man in practical clothes with a crossbow strapped to his back. And with a very strong scent. The stranger suddenly turned around, noticing our group at last. The first thing I immediately noticed for some reason was his fabulous mustache and goatee, giving him a 'gentleman' adventurer feel. He just lacked a monocle.
Rather than treating us with hostility, he offered us a warm welcoming smile. "Greetings, strangers! Forgive my particular aroma, it's merely ironvine powder. An old hunter's trick to persuade monsters to not make a meal of myself."
My stance relaxed. So he was a monster hunter? I guess he had the looks but one would think these types of people would be outcompeted by actual adventurers.
I was about to introduce myself when I saw Astarion stepping forward, he was smirking as usual.
"A Gur monster hunter? And here I thought your people were all cut-throats and vagrants."
I facepalmed. He couldn't help himself, could he? I'm going to smack the sh*t out of him
"Forgive our companion's words," Alfira immediately apologized with a bow. I briefly noticed the murderous look she shot at the vampire. "He likes to make bad jests. It's nothing against you."
The monster hunter took it better than I would have expected. He even chuckled. "Oh I hear that all the time! The Gur, a mystical people traveling the land and who never settle in one plave! We steal chickens, we ruin crops and we seduce settled folk's daughters!"
I paled. It was word for word the kind of racist stereotypes associated with Roma people on Earth. Which the Gur appeared to be their equivalent on Toril. And Astarion had made a disparate comment towards them out of pure bigotry. That was a new low.
"Alas, if only I possessed half of the power those stories gave us," the Gur hunter continued, "but I'm no witch-doctor or cut-throat. I can't even compare to adventurers like you."
"Are you here to kill the local Hag?" I asked him out of curiosity. I'm not sure if the man could prove reliable in a fight but he certainly seemed to possess useful knowledge that could help us.
But my hypothesis was proven wrong when he shook his head. "On the contrary, I came to seek the mistress of these marshes to help me track my prey, if I can afford her blood price. I initially assumed it was the reason for your presence here but it seems I was mistaken."
Wyll stepped closer. "And pray tell, friend, what kind of monster are you tracking down? I know these lands well for having killed my share of beasts myself."
The other man raised an eyebrow before his eyes widened. "You're the Blade of Frontiers! I would have never expected to meet a famous hero like you in these circ*mstances. But I'm afraid the creature I'm hunting is nothing as grand as what you usually kill."
"And what is it then?" Astarion prodded him despite being met with disapproval looks from some of us. "Dragon, Cyclop… Kobolds?"
I sighed.
"Like I said, nothing grand. A mere vampire spawn."
The Elf immediately ticked. As the rest of us did when the nomadic hunter continued.
"His name is Astarion but I fear he has gone to ground. I was hoping the local Hag would help him flush him out. But I fear that occasion has passed now, am I right?"
"Aye, Ethel might have abducted a young woman we promised to return safely to her brothers," I revealed to him while trying to conceal my emotions to not betray Astarion's true nature. "It might turn ugly," I warned him.
"We'll wish you good luck anyway," Alfira added before she grabbed Astarion by the arm to drag him away. The Vampire was paler than usual.
"And to you too, adventurers," the Gur replied with a nod. "From a hunter to others."
We immediately headed back to Ethel's house without further words though I think our vampire companion felt the glares we sent him his way. And for a good reason. He was being hunted. What the hell had he done to deserve such attention? Nothing good I was sure. But we couldn't confront him now, not with the hunter close and within mere inches of a Hag. It would have to wait.
We found ourselves facing the 'teahouse' entrance. There were two voices coming from behind the door. One was definitely Ethel's and the other belonged to another, younger, woman. It had to be Mayrina.
Karlach cracked her knuckles before turning her head towards us. I gave her a brief nod. She smirked as a reply before kicking the door open, literally.
"Who dare… Oh it's you my darlings?"
First thing I noticed inside was Ethel staring at us with wide eyes. Then I tilted my head to see a young woman with dirty and curly long blonde hair sitting at a small table on which a plate of pie was on display. A detail about the girl immediately caught my attention, her belly was very round. I clenched my teeth. She was pregnant. Goddammit! She was a young widow and future mother! No wonder she had come to seek the Hag! She was desperate. It was bad, really bad.
"You know, you could have just knocked at my door rather than knocking it and I would have opened. Tssk, young people, I swear…"
Ethel was still keeping to her kind grandma persona. It was pissing me off.
Marc, whatever you do with her, do not accept any of her deals, I heard Zilana warning me. Hags are among the few creatures I would consider even more treacherous than devils. Even if she could cure you if your tadpole, her blood price might not be worth it
As if I was in the mood of making deals right now
, I pointed out."Auntie Ethel please… I can't do it anymore," Mayrina suddenly complained before she got up from her seat.
The Hag's face contorted with a scowl as she turned to her other 'guest'. "What did I say about interrupting me, girl?" She waved her hand.
With but a flash of green light, the woman was gone.
"Where did you send her?!" I demanded of the Fey.
"No need to worry petal, she's just someplace else where she won't bother us with her incessant whining. It was getting tiring, you understand?"
I tightened my fists. Wyll had already his hand on his rapier, ready to spring into action. The rest weren't far either.
"Now, what else would you have come here if not for me to cure you of these tadpoles?"
"We are here to rescue Mayrina and nothing else!" Wyll assured the Hag with a firm voice.
"Boring," Ethel mumbled to herself before ignoring him and focusing back on me for some reason. "I am not asking the Knife of Borders but him, here. Now be a good boy and let the adults talk, will you Wyll?"
"Don't make me laugh, Ethel! You can't cure us! Our tadpoles aren't normal in case you hadn't figured it out! But maybe that slipped your mind!" I spat at her with anger. "Now give us back the girl before it turns ugly!"
The Hag glared back but still maintained her calm composure in face of my outburst. A green light surrounded her. When it was gone, the old human woman had been replaced with a green monstrous entity part-marsh with the face of an evil looking old witch. Ethel's true form I supposed.
"Is this how you talk to someone who has been trying to help you, darling?" Her tone was still warm. I'm pretty sure she had realized by now that by keeping it, she was infuriating me further. "Be mindful of your words, is this how your parents raised you?" I noticed her lips curling into a smirk as she said those words.
I stepped closer to her, keeping our eyes locked into a silent battle. "You think you're scaring me? With your cheap staging and Walmart costume? Give back the girl, Ethel. Or else you're not leaving this room." Wyll and Karlach already had my back.
The Faerie creature merely laughed at my posturing. "Oh you want to play the Hero? You? And I'm the monster of the story? Look who's talking, Warlock."
She then proceeded to gaze at each of my companions. "And what else do we have here? A Hells-touched Warlock desperately trying to convince himself he's some fairy tale hero! A Tiefling reeking from Avernus and from the Archdevil Zariel herself!"
"I'm gonna shut that mouth of yours myself if you don't stop!" Karlach threatened, a hand on her greataxe.
Ethel continued without paying her much attention. She glanced at Astarion. "A vampire spawn on the run, isn't it? You're planning to overthrow your master? Of course you are. Word of advice, try to convince him of letting you drink his blood before the killing blow. You have a plan to defeat him, of course?" She turned to Alfira before the spawn could reply anything. "And hello to you again, Alfira. Deciding to join a band of adventurers, sweet thing? Who else persuaded you of doing so? No, don't answer me. I like charades." She tipped her index against her lower lip. "Was it Marc? Of course it was him! I bet he put all kinds of ideas in your head, eh? I mean, I don't blame you, I don't think I would have been able to resist myself."
"Enough!" I shouted at the top of my lungs before throwing a punch.
Ethel wasn't fast enough to avoid it but it didn't do much to her. It just surprised the Hag who looked at me dumbfounded before she composed back herself. "And you. Earthling."
I paused. "You know my kind," I stated, calmer than before, curiosity overtaking my anger.
"I know that you are all insufferable arrogant pricks to deal with and you are no exception! I recognized your smell the moment you came to me to buy potions!"
I said no word, inviting her to continue.
"You are hardly the first, believe me. But you all share the same traits. You suddenly appear one day, become adventurers and can't help but meddle in things that you shouldn't. Did I mention you are all obsessed with magic? Or maybe less magic and more power. And of course, you treat everything as if it was a game to you, am I right?"
"It's not!" I countered.
Her crooked smile grew wide. "Oh? Is it not what you've been doing? Trying to be the hero you couldn't be when you chose to help those Tieflings? Don't lie to me, Marc. You have no idea why you are here, don't you?"
Don't listen to her, she's toying with you!
"How did you become a Warlock?" The Hag asked. "Do you really think there won't be any consequences, like with your friend here? You know, had you been a good boy, I could have shown you many things. Teaching you to wield magic from the Feywild, even some things most Wizards don't even know! But you insisted on being the Hero of the tale, pathetic!" Before anyone could react, she downed a potion vial and disappeared before our eyes. "Bye bye petals!"
A secret passage within the house's hearth revealed itself. Ethel was fleeing through it, no doubt. But we had no time to pursue her as shouts of rage caught our attention.
"The redcaps are attacking!" Alfira warned us.
Effectively, the Hag would have likely sent the nasty runts after us to distract from following her. I immediately sprang in action by grabbing my
Blade Pact and channeling my magic.
"Black Hole!" A cloud of pure darkness was summoned right at the entrance to blind the redcaps who had no choice but to go through it to reach us.
Two were however quick enough to not be trapped within it. Thankfully, Alfira was quick to react with a Thunderwave to throw them back into my trap.
I sent a nod to Wyll who unsheathed his sword before we ran through the darkness. The fey creatures couldn't see within my black sphere but we could. My 'colleague' was quick to impale one creature and then slash the throat of another. For my part, I rushed a disoriented redcap and pinned it down before frantically stabbing its head like a madman. My blood was racing.
Astarion and Alfira were quick to dispose of the remaining monster with their respective bow and crossbow. I was about to head back when a redcap nobody had noticed made a run towards me… Only for Karlach to grab it with one hand. The small creature tried to bite her. The Tiefling simply responded by crunching its skull before throwing the body away.
Ethel's minions had been quickly dealt with but I was certain she knew it was going to happen. She had just discarded them as a distraction.
I stared at the now unlit heart she had used to escape before closing my fist. We're coming after you Ethel
Redcaps are actually nasty fairy creatures from British folklore but I didn't know that until recently. I suppose it's no coincidence they share characteristics with other European similar creatures like gnomes and lutins. It makes me appreciate the swamp section even more in retrospect given how on the nose the fairy tale inspiration is. Also Ethel is savage.
